Control and Choice: A Simple Tool to Affect Change

1 Apr

Stoicism is a branch of philosophy that has practical applications for navigating the challenges we face in the modern world and can help us be more resilient, happier, and honest. It offers an action-orientated and paradigm shifting way of living in the pursuit of self-mastery, perseverance, and good judgement.

The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own . . .
Epictetus

The single most important practice in Stoicism is having absolute clarity over what we can change and what we can’t. When faced with any problem or challenge that is causing frustration or strong emotions, spend the time to differentiate between what you can control and what you can’t. So much wasted energy can be spent in trying to solve or in reacting emotionally to things that are completely out of our control.

The fundamental truth, and one that we often forget in our busy daily lives, is that the only thing we have absolute control over is the way we think, the way we feel (yes we truly do have control over this and more on this subject later…) and in the way we act.

Yes, we can influence others, but that is all. A paradigm shift happens when we realise that we have absolutely no control over how others think, feel and act. Once we truly understand that, we have the freedom to let it go and put our full attention to things that we can control.

Look at the diagram below and ask yourself where you spend most of your time and efforts? For most of us, I bet we find ourselves in the outer box for longer than we should. The daily practice of bringing our awareness back to what we can control (ourselves) can be liberating. It can lead us towards greater happiness and give us a distinct advantage over other people who fail to realise that they are fighting a losing battle and raging against the machine. Give it a go and let me know how it goes for you!